Okay so why am I falling apart? I just don't get it. I shouldn't be falling apart... my life's not all that bad. I just have no ability to withstand it... I mean I push everyone away... I hurt people .... it's not fair to everyone who knows me and has to deal with me.
I am going on retreat on Monday and I honestly don't even know if I want to go.... Like is it just going to make me feel worse... like a horrible person. I don't like that feeling... But what if God wants me there... what if He has something I need to know about... need to feel. Like maybe it won't be all that bad at all.
I'm just so confused right now...........
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